My Birth Day

Dear GOD,

Tomorrow, I will begin a new day : such new chance, new milieu and of course also new challenge. God, You know when I’m happy and sad about it.  I’m happy because tomorrow is new chance for me to be better person. Person who can give benefit for friends and others.  I’m sad because it’s omen that my chance to serve You become less. If my life sheet stop in the 63^rd years old. So, I just have 37^th years to prepare myself before facing YOU.

GOD, nowadays, tomorrow, two weeks later and soon. I just wanna study to be sincere in doing everything, either in religious service, studying, also in loving someone. I often ask to myself about Your fate essence. My heart refuse Your stipulation. I’m wrong, I forget that You know everything. I’m so stupid not to remember every Your fate is all for the best.

So GOD, in this night, I really determined that I will try to be sincere of everything, especially in loving someone.

I’m sorry GOD, for this case, my heart suddenly mute, couldn’t talk anything. You know that I’m difficult to understand my feeling. Even I discuss it for about a day and a night, it will never be enough. It’s really difficult to be told. Either when we are loving someone or we are in bitterness condition.

But I don’t, I’m not cry baby, I’m not person who is lazy to lose heart. Once more, in this night I determined to love him sincerely. I will never hope reward anymore. Also I will never hope him to love me. What I want to do that loving him sincerely.

So that, I should be able to receive it. Receiving all the risks of challenge I promised. It’s heavy, but it’s my promise and determination I have been ready to face the depths of misery. Because I realize that owning him is impossible.

Let sky write it, as a promise of me. I will always be calm, being sincere to love him. I sincere of Your stipulation even if not a little feeling exist in his heart.  I will costanly be sincere to expend my feeling for him.

And my promise for you :

This day, I will increase my humanity quality, sincerity of my heart, etc. One day, if you are really GOD creator for me. I will wait you while smile. A smile that I hope to implied in every breath of us. A smile that can be bridge for me to be one of fairies in His Heaven. It’s my promise to you, nothing to be worried, I believe that GOD will always make me able to pass anyobtacles in my life.

“GOD, You are the reason of all this life. You are the explanation of this life. Feeling come from You. All of feelings will be back to You. We just receive entrusted goods and these all exist just because of You. Please say for all lovers in the world. Say the love promise just because of Him. Say all the life just because of Allah. Say that all kinds of feeling just because of Allah. And Allah as the merciful, the creator of the world, teaches us about the true love. Hoped, Allah gives us chance to feel His authenticity. Hoped, Allah really gives us chance to see His face. A face that will make all love in the world become weak as spout never grow up. As fire never burn. As a chunk of ice never be solid” (Tereliye)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME, 26/12/2016